I’ve come to the realization that the timeline of my life is as follows. Before Dean, with Dean and after Dean. I’m positive that my husband feels this way as well. And we both can agree that neither of us likes our lives very much ‘after Dean’. Nothing positive has come into our lives since he died. We’re just breathing beings. Nothing more. Nothing seems worth any effort. I no longer buy clothing or makeup or have my hair done by a professional. None of it means anything to me but a waste of time. Living, now, to me is a waste of time. I have no purpose. And what’s a person to do when they’ve got no purpose?
My purpose left me 1 year, 7 months and 20 days ago.